Deeper Issue

Its been almost a year that i didnot write anything and the weight issue was becoming more frustrating. I have not lost any weight in the last 1 year instead i have put on 5 odd kgs. And the irony is i have been at it . I have been actively doing things to get in shape. But i discovered something very deep about myself and my connection with my body.
I was being labelled as fat as a kid and that kind of got in to the system. I believed it and confirmed to it. Internally i started hating my body for being a source of criticism. All that i was doing was from the space of wanting to fix the problem. I denied love to myself cos i believed that the way i m is not acceptable. I started loving only the non-body aspect of me like my nature, my mind, my intelligence and so on. In this denial all the weight loss efforts were a confirmation to the body of how much i hate it and how much i want the fat to go.
I realise today that my body has gone through a very abusive self treatment and it has not felt good for being the way it is . And not just fat even people who are thin, dark, get criticised and abused in their childhood. The self esteem gets impacted and it is the cultural social beliefs that create this condition for millions in the society. Being fat is just a confirmation to the criticism cos deep inside you believe it.
I feel its a deeper issue about self love and acceptance. I am resolving to learning ways to love body and loving the self unconditionally. Results dont matter its the peace of mind and acceptance of the self that matter.