I have been on a merry go round, going up and down for last so many years. I have lost 20 kg four times so far and i really wonder how i manage to get it back.
Well, i was born 10 lbs and i never disappointed my mother as she could always see her baby growing and growing. When i turned 16 suddenly we all realized that i had become a 80kg out of school girl.
From then on i have never looked back..today i m 120 kg and i have gone through at least 10 weight loss programs in the last 20 years. As a result my metabolism is impacted and now i put on weight by thinking about food. And honestly i do think a lot about food! :-)
I also did a course on Diet and Nutrition to understand what the hell i m eating which is causing this!!! I see everybody who eats almost as much as me is still half my size. Being a researcher by profession i have decided to take this up as a research project which may end up just in a document of findings and recommendations..... (Still i may not lose weight!)
Guess what! I have actually helped people lose weight because i know exactly what needs to be done to lose weight. Then why cant i stick to a regime and why does motivation die off if the issue is so important?! Maybe because i m very emotional and end up eating emotionally.
Though i am responsible as a person, why haven't i been able to be responsible about my most primary responsibility - my body? Still looking for answers and solutions.......
But now i have decided to get off from the merry go round. I am first working on stabilizing my weight and then lose for good or else die fat. Maybe gods in heaven or devils in hell need my fat :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi,
ReplyDeleteManisha,
I totally agree with you....in spite of all the know-how about a)the calorific values of the food stuff, b)the types exercise, c) the importance of fit & fine body.....blah blah blah... I don't know Aaila kuthe maashii shinktey???????
kharach....
Maybe all the people whom we love & the people who love us are just accepting us the way we are....that's why our motivation just fizzles out....there can be some other reasons as well... No doubt....
But definitely we need to check ourselves.& all the best for our slimming project (As i am also on the same project.... ;-)
Love,
Vidya(vidyagavankar@yahoo.com)
hmmm...i have seen you a winner in most areas in your life whether your envious work-life balance, your career graph or you as an awesome parent & have seen you dealing with many other challenges and ride them through successfully...am sure you will win this as well...you are right about it that in this endeavour either you can go mad or you can get enlightened...knowing you i know you will surely be enlightened and slimmer...with you on your jouney in spirit...wish you all the best and looking for regular posts...i love the frankness and "tell it like it is" tone...which means no medium has power to dilute your expressions :-) ...and i love you courage to share this journey with others unabashedly...fearless and honest as usual...
ReplyDeleteLove,
Raj
HI Manisha,
ReplyDeleteI very well understand what you are going through, bcoz this has exactly been my journey. I will share my experience with you.....
You will start to lose weight only when you decide to lose weight. Till now you were trying to lose weight. It has to come from within. & the day it will happen you will not have to make any effort to lose. Till then njoy the way you are. Feel beautiful about yourself. Trust me.....you will start discovering the real YOU, & your priorities in life will shuffle.
love
piya
Look at it this way, Manisha - now you know excatly what NOT to do to loose weight! No wonder you have helped other people loose weight. But like we have discussed many times (you and I are on the same bandwagon), the weight is not the problem, its a symptom. Of what, I still trying to figure out...Maybe you can for yourself?
ReplyDeleteThanks Vidya, Raj, Piya and Prerna.Its very encouraging. Piya, i completely agree and i really think its more a journey of self discovery. I would really like to know how you did it, you must share your success story.
ReplyDelete